Introduction 

There is a quiet revolution happening, especially among women in their late 30's, 40's and beyond. More are beginning to name and talk about the quiet side of burnout. We're no longer seeing it as a weakness or a failure. Its a reminder to realign, a pause to shift something and let go of the crushing expectations we are all experiencing at work, at home, on social media. Its a signal from our body to our mind that something has been too much for too long. But the good news is we can make changes today. 

There is a version of burnout that we've seen somewhere. 

The frazzled Senior Leader on a 3 day retreat in Greece, the tired nurse on another long shift, an overwhelmed mother juggling small children. We feel familiar with how this version of burnout may appear, the visible signs tears, collapsing, panic attacks. 

But there’s another version that moves more quietly, it settles in like a fog. 

This quieter form of burnout is harder to notice, even for the person living it. You don’t collapse, you drift. You wake up and still feel exhausted, you're forgetful, on autopilot, loosing your words, everything feels hard and slow and you're living for the breaks you get, weekends, holidays but even those dont always work. 

How does Burnout look and feel?

At first, it looks like tiredness. You blame the weather. The children. Maybe it’s perimenopause or menopause? Maybe you just need a better morning routine, less caffeine, a new supplement, a Pilates class, a weekend away with the girls. But weeks pass, then months. And slowly, you realise it’s not just tiredness. Its something different. 

Burnout has long been associated with traditionally high-pressure jobs, long hours, and emotionally demanding roles. But this more insidious version has been silently creeping into all other roles; parents, freelancers, the self employed, carers, even those working fewer hours and part time in seemingly 'balanced' roles. It’s not always about workload anymore. Sometimes it’s about the emotional cost of constantly holding it all together, the juggle and the draining impact of perfect social media accounts. 

The juggle of being a 30,40, 50 and 60 something woman in a world that has set ludicrously high expectations on what it means to be a successful woman, good parents, grandparents, to not only maintain a career but to achieve and climb and do more. To hold down hobbies and interests. To have a self care routine and be able to manage daily workouts and strength training. To holiday in unusual places and have an impeccably curated house and fashion sense. Oh and god forbid a wrinkle. 

Does all this sound familiar? No wonder we're exhausted. 

There’s little space for this version of burnout in our productivity obsessed culture. You're not broken enough to stop, but not well enough to thrive. So you keep going, and that, paradoxically, becomes the problem.

Dr. Lucy Evans, a GP working in mental health, describes it as a “slow erosion of the self. People come in and say they feel flat, or distant, or like they’re watching their own lives from the outside. It’s not crisis. But it is suffering.”

Recognising the signs of Burnout is the key

The good news is and a relief to many today is that it can be paused, slowed down. 

The first answer is time and space. Not in the form of a luxury wellness retreat, but in the shape of small, conscious interruptions to your day. Stepping outside without your phone. Crying when you need to. Asking for help before you're desperate. Talking honestly, especially when your instinct is to stay silent.

The truth is, we’re not machines, though we live in a world that often treats us like we are. Rest isn’t a reward for being efficient, we all need it. 

Permission to be human. Permission to stop.

5 ways to pause Burnout 

1.    Name It

Start by being honest with yourself. Burnout often hides behind phrases like “I’m just tired” or “I think I need to take my supplements.” You’re not lazy or failing,  you’re depleted. Naming it helps you stop blaming yourself and start tending to what you really need. 

Create Micro-Rest Windows

If a holiday or day off isn’t realistic right now, look for small, reclaimable spaces. Ten minutes without your phone. A walk around the block with no agenda. A bath in silence. Rest doesn't have to be long. The nervous system doesn’t need a weekend retreat. It needs moments of calm, often and it will thankyou and reward you for this.

 Lower the Expectations (For Now)

Burnout thrives in perfectionism. If your usual self is aiming for 10/10, try aiming for 6. Be kind in how you speak to yourself. Choose the frozen pizza. Send the short reply. Wear the same jeans two days in a row.  Use the dry shampoo. The goal is to keep going gently, not keep up appearances.

Ask for a Tiny Bit of Help

This can feel hard, especially if you’re the one people usually lean on. But even asking a friend to pick up the kids, or letting your partner take the lead on dinner, is a start. Delegate where you can. Burnout tells you you have to do it all alone. Connection gently tells you otherwise

Make One “You” Decision a Day

When you're burned out, life can feel like it's being lived at you. Try reclaiming even one decision each day that puts you first, even if it’s small. Say no to things that don’t feel right. Choose a cup of tea over a task. Light the candle. These aren’t luxuries. They’re tiny acts of self-return.

Lastly. 

We speak to you, our community everyday online, in our studio and over emails and we can feel that there feels like a lot of pressure at the moment. 52% of our community said they felt overwhelmed, so if you're feeling like this. Just know you're not alone and you can make a really small change today. 

Right, who is for a day bath?