Notes from the Studio | Jess Avey - Mindset CoachPosted by Charlotte Nutland on
Hey I'm Jess, I'm a female empowerment coach and NLP practitioner and I specialise in reframing and smashing through my clients limiting beliefs. I'm also a beauty business owner and single mum of two wild boys and a French Bulldog named Peanut.
Your Instragram account as it radiates positivity and good vibes, what do you do to stay in a good mental headspace?
I have a pretty well equipped mental health toolkit full of tools and techniques that I can reach for when I'm feeling low/ overwhelmed with life. Firstly my morning routine is super important to me, I'm a firm believer that you cannot pour from an empty cup and as mornings can typically be when my mood is naturally at it's lowest, I put a lot of focus into 'filling up my cup' first thing! This involves journaling, meditating, breathwork - all of those if I have time, maybe just a couple of minutes of one thing if the boys are up early.
I also know that moving my body makes me feel great so I pretty much have music playing all day, I dance around A LOT - (I'm talking kitchen discos, nothing pro) and I also try to either stretch, do yoga, go for a run or do a home workout each day - which one I do really depends on my mood and time of the month. Other than that speaking to friends, doing my skincare, listening to a podcast, finding new music on Spotify, having a bubble bath, planning fun things, getting fresh air ... all the things that bring me joy but also nourish my mind, body and soul.
Belief work is also huge for me, shifting my belief to knowing that the Universe is always guiding me really helps me to not sweat the small stuff, let go of the past and trust in the future.
What does a typical day look like for you?
A typical day for me always starts with a good morning routine to fill up my cup. If I get my moments of peace in before the boys wake up then the school run always goes much more smoothly! I typically go to the gym straight from the school run before heading home to work until school pickup. Work is different most days but it usually consists of speaking with clients, holding live events and creating content. I also try to fit in a dog walk before picking the boys up from school, otherwise we do that as a family before dinner. Once the boys are in bed I then get back to work, I love what I do so I'm always keen to get back to creating/ speaking with clients. I also tend to have a bubble bath most nights before bed, it's part of my nightly routine along with journaling, mediating and doing my skincare.
Please describe NLP to us novices and how its changed your life?
NLP stands for Neurolinguistic Programming and it is a psychological approach that involves understanding the process of the mind and the programs we use to process our reality. It relates thoughts, language and patterns of behaviour that we have learned through our past experiences to the way that we view and respond to the world now. In expanding our understanding of these thought processes we are quite literally able to change how we view the world and our responses to it - it's described as taking the blue pill (Matrix reference) once you do it, life is never the same!
Studying NLP literally blew my mind. It was the turning point in my healing journey and I often describe it as the moment I crossed the finish line. Even though the healing journey is never over, I just felt like I was always stuck at this final hurdle and couldn't get past it and NLP got me past it. I'm still healing and learning but now I see and process things in a different way. I'm more self aware, I see my triggers as opportunities to heal and grow rather than as faults to be ashamed of. Before I couldn't understand what was holding me back, now I understand it is all in my beliefs, so I work with them and reframe them. It's like I've learnt to understand myself more, why I am the way I am, and then I use that knowledge to reframe my beliefs to those of being worthy and enough.
Manifesting and Mediation.... how can you start your journey into these if you've never tried before?
When it comes to meditating, just know that doing it is better that not doing it, so even starting with 30 seconds of meditation is going to be more beneficial than 30 seconds of worrying/ ruminating/ having a generally busy mind. Start small, there are so many guided meditations that you can do on youtube or with apps such as Calm and I also do guided visualisations in my free private Facebook group along with weekly journaling sessions; so if you want to do it in a safe space with other badass empowered women - join me there!
When it comes to manifesting, a HUGE part of the process is in believing that you are worthy of/ capable of/ deserving of what it is that you want to manifest. If you believe that you're worthy of money, not only will the Universe offer wisdom, opportunities, solutions and guidance for you but you'll be more likely to follow that guidance and take the right steps to getting what you desire. I firmly believe that manifesting is a co-creation between you and the Universe, believe it is yours, ask the Universe for it and take the steps to achieving it. When you're in alignment with your desires you'll be divinely guided to them.
What would a self care hour look like for you?
Oooh this is my favourite kind of question! Okay so, a hot bubble bath with my natural bath foam, (an outdoor bath under the stars would be ideal but I'd settle for my bath at home haha), face mask on, surrounded by candles and crystals listening to spa music or a guided meditation. I would spend the whole hour in the bath topping up the hot water each time it cools down!
When anxiety is increasing what do you do to keep on top of it?
When I feel anxiety increasing the first thing I do is break state, if I'm sitting I stand, if I'm standing I shake my body or stretch, if I'm inside I step outside. If that doesn't help then I switch focus to my breath, gently refocusing to my breath anytime my mind wanders elsewhere. I also remind myself that I am not my thoughts, that they are simply the clouds in my sky. I give myself grace by acknowledging that they are there but then I question if they are true/ real (9/10 times they aren't) so I focus on letting the thoughts float on by. If what is on my mind is true/ real, I ask myself what I can realistically do and I put a plan in place, this gives me a sense of control.
Thankyou so much Jess, you find Jess on Instagram here